You know you have watched too much
'The Hunt for Red October', when... have a bad idea, you say to yourself "Next time I'll write it in a memo."

...someone says it's cold outside, you spontaneously add, "And hard."

...someone offers to forward a message for you, you remind them to use one ping only.

...having checked your email, you shout, "These messages are seven bloody hours old! Seven hours..." remark everywhere you go that most things don't react too well to bullets. have pondered whether or not there is anything that DOES react well to bullets. turn on the radio and tell your buddy you think you hear singing.

...going somewhere, you feel a need to change direction at the bottom of every hour. believe seismic activity sounds similar to whales humping. correct someone on the difference between Paginni and Pavarotti without ever having listened to either of their music. have ever been scared out of the water. personally give it one chance in three.

...everytime you arrive at a destination you turn to someone near you and say, "Welcome to the New World." spontaneously burst into a Russian song that you don't understand the words to. don't use a mobile phone - you communicate by morse code.

...whenever you see somebody do a U-turn, you shout "CONN, SONAR! CRAZY IVAN!!"

...flying on a plane, you try to impress the stewardess with your knowledge of turbulence and how much you don't like it. interrupt a conversation not by saying "excuse me", but instead slap the table, smile to yourself, and exclaim, "You son of a B*TCH!" wear all your keys on a chain around your neck and find two people to be witnesses every time you add another one.

...someone says 'you', you immediately interrupt with "are expendable!" say 'buckaroo' with a Russian/Scottish accent. praise someone, you always say "You'll receive the Order of Lenin for this!" know that when a politician isn't kissing babies, he's stealing their lolipops.

...the traffic light turns yellow and you stomp on the gas and mutter "Come on Big D - fly!" are suspicious of all cooks. raise your hands in the air and say "Let them sing" on karaoke night.

..."Mother of God!" is your standard response to any surprise.'ve seen a mermaid and a shark eat an octupus, but never a phantom Russian submarine.

...your last words will either be "I would like to have seen Montana" or "You arrogant Ass you've killed us!" think you can walk from Greenland to Iceland to Scotland without getting your feet wet.

...a friend is telling a story and listing places/things and you add the line "...and one way the hell out at Pearl." conduct missle drills on the beach while listening to rock-and-roll. go swimming and think the Laurentian Abyssal is beneath you. think Halsey really did act stupidly. see a chef, you shout "A cook?! It's a god damn cook!" recite the story of Cortez burning his ships when motivating people.

...anything electrical breaks, you scream hysterically "We've been sabbotaged!" decide to move to Montana and raise rabbits. feel all warm and happy when those Russian sailors start singing, and you actually try and sing the lyrics. see someone doing something outrageous, you remark that the person "must have a real burr up his ass to go for stunt like this."

...upon hearing any kind of splashing sound, you declare "High speed screws, torpedo in the water!"

...every month on the 23rd, you ask with a great deal of urgency, "Today's the 23rd?"

...while taking a shower you remember that "russians don't take a dump son without a plan."

...for no apparent reason if you and some people are talking about someone and you shout out "I'm telling you he wants to defect." leave the place you're at and say "And I was never here."

credit: thank you very much to the people at the imdb board of "The Hunt for Red October"
for the majority of these!