quotes
[talking about his new wife, Laura]
Angus the Groom: Ignore her. She's drunk. At least I hope she is. Otherwise I'm in real trouble.
Charles: Tom, are you the richest man in England?
Tom: Oh, no. We're... like, seventh.
Charles: Another wedding invitation. And a list. Lovely.
Tom: Splendid, I thought. What did you think?
Bernard: I thought, splendid! What did you think?
Tom: Splendid, I thought.
Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles.
Old man: Don't be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago!
Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think.
Old man: Are you telling me I don't know my own brother!
Charles: No, no.
[Carrie asks Charles's opinion on her wedding dress]
Charles: It is dangerous! You know, there's nothing more off-putting in a wedding than a priest with an enormous erection, yech!
Charles: Do you think there really are people who can just go up and say, "Hi, babe. Name's Charles. This is your lucky night"?
Matthew: Well, if there are, they're not English.
Matthew: The first time I saw Gareth dance I was afraid that lives would be lost.
Fiona: [about congratulating parents of bride and groom]
I never know what to say at these things.
Gareth: Just give them warm hug and say the bride looks pregnant.
Matthew: Or you can stick to the conventional "You must be very proud".
Fiona: [to parents] You must be very proud!
Carrie: Our timing has been very bad.
Charles: Yes it has been. Very bad.
Carrie: It's been a disaster.
Charles: It has been, as you say, very bad indeed.
Charles: Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
[at Carrie's wedding in Scotland]
Gareth: It's Brigadoon! It's Bloody Brigadoon!
American wedding guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?
Fiona: Do you think I'd hate him as much if he wasn't my brother?
Charles [Charles comes running after Carrie]: Ehm, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, ehm, well, this is a very stupid question and..., particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, ehm, eh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, "I think I love you," and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... Eh... Eh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Carrie: That was very romantic.
Charles: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know, I wanted to get it just right.
Matthew: Sorry we're so late. The others are just parking the car, I thought we'd all go with Tom.
Charles: Late? So late?
Matthew: Yeah. It's 9:45.
Charles: 9:45?
Matthew: Yep. 45 minutes until "I do".
Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.
[having just seen Carrie at his own wedding]
Charles: Dear Lord, forgive me for what I am about to, ah, say in this magnificent place of worship... Bugger! Bugger! Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger!
David: How are you doing?
Charles: You remember the time you started dad's boat and the propeller cut my leg to shreds?
David: Yeah?
Charles: This is worse.
Charles: Let me ask you one thing. Do you think - after we've dried off, after we've spent lots more time together - you might agree *not* to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?
Carrie: I do.